My First Day as Mr. Mom

As a teacher, summer is a glorious time of year when the days are lazy and things can get done around the house. Or maybe, that sentence should have been in past tense. My wife just started a new full time job at the same time that The Bug and I are starting summer break.  This, of course, causes some transitional issues on a few fronts.  Yesterday, was our first day together — Daddy and The Bug — and it was a doozy.

My day started around 5:30 when my wife woke me up.  If you think that’s an evil time to be up on vacation, you are absolutely right.  However, it gave me a nice quiet start to my day.  I sipped coffee, read my Bible, and chatted with my wife.  The tranquility ended around 6:15.  That’s the time The Bug normally got up for school, and we had just commented that it was weird to not have to wake her up.

Then, we heard a frantic, “MOMMY!” The Bug had woken up in a pool of dried blood.  She occasionally gets a nosebleed, and obviously one had happened in the night.  We are well-versed in nosebleed clean up.  She takes the kid and cleans up the face.  I take the sheets and clean those up.  Peroxide, my friends.  Peroxide is the #1 blood fighter!  (We learned that when one of our dogs made our living room look like a war zone. But that’s a different story and not for the squeamish reader.)  I think the nosebleed was an indicator for the next two hours of pure craziness.

I am not a multitasker.  Let’s just get that out in the open right now. My highest level of multitasking is listening to music while I type this blog.  Beyond that, I get some serious stress — like heart palpitation stress. Yet, my first morning as Mr. Mom was jokingly full of multitasking.

Here are some of the things that happened from 6:15 to 8:30.

  • Nosebleed and clean up.
  • I printed a copy of last summer’s schedule to review and update for this summer. My printer wanted to run diagnostics instead.  When the diagnostics were done, the schedule didn’t come. So I printed again… and got two copies.
  • Breakfast.  I’ll get the dishes later.
  • Walk the dog.  Four houses down, there was a dog loose in its front yard. I don’t do dog fights. I’m not much of a fan and I don’t want to be holding on to the leash of one of the dogs in the fight. We went to turn around and go a different route.
  • Norton’s gave me a warning about some sort of error. None of the automated fixes worked, but that didn’t stop me from trying two or three times.  (You know, the Neanderthal attempt to keep bashing your head against something hard with the idea that maybe you’ll win after a few bashes.)
  • My wife left for work.  (“Bye, honey! I will miss you more than you know!”)
  • The Bug wrote on one schedule and wanted me to print a third. She didn’t like my answer, so she ripped up the copy she wrote on. She got a timeout.
  • I’m still bashing my head against Norton’s.
  • The Bug comes out of time out. My wife calls.  She took the wrong car AND she has the key ring with the only key we have for the car she left behind.  The Bug tries to tap the touchscreen on the laptop. The Bug gets some harsh words, as I hear a quiet, “Is everything OK there?” (“Just fine, dear. We’ll be just fine.”)
  • I finally explain to The Bug the problem.  Fortunately, she has learned about computer viruses through BrainPOP so this makes sense to her. She miraculously gives me the space I need to do what I need to do.
  • I contact Norton’s support and they take over my computer.
  • I realize I need to put dinner in the crockpot.  I use my phone to look at the recipe while the Norton guy does his thing.  The Bug is creating her own schedule at the table while this happens.
  • Somewhere in there I text my mother-in-law about the car key.  She opts to go get the key for me so we’re not stranded.
  • I clean up the kitchen about the same time The Bug sticks Just Dance in the Wii and exercises on her own.
  • The Norton dude finishes on the computer.
  • I hop in the shower.

This is enough to wear me down to nothing, but of course I had things to do that day.  Just about nothing on that happened was actually planned to happen.

I have vague and hazy ideas of telling The Bug to clean up her mess, so she made a bigger one. I found her organizing her hair accessories. I refer to the Battle of the Bun. Why does one girl need so much stuff for her hair?  I have shampoo.


Not that long after this picture was taken, my mother-in-law showed up and offered to take The Bug to the park for an hour. Did I look that stressed?!?! That was a good hour to relax and catch my breath.

I think I blocked out the rest of the day. I’m sure I did meaningful things and laughed with The Bug often, but I don’t remember much.  I do remember two things clearly.

The Bug and I knocked out some errands.  We went into Toys R Us for play sand. I lifted 150 pounds of sand into the cart, and she left with a free balloon.  What?!?!

On the way home, she was singing happily in the backseat till the moment that she wasn’t.  I hollered back, “You’re not sleeping back there, are you?” Nothing. I tickled the knee.  Nothing.  She WAS out of it!  I was able to wake her up in the driveway enough to here, “Oh. Hi, Mommy!” Then, she slept like a mummy for an hour straight.


And that, my friends, is how my summer break started.  I love that kid!

Here are some Pro Tips for you:

  • Have a minimum of two keys per car. I blame the Toyota dealer who told me he only had one key AFTER I signed the paperwork, but we don’t need to get into that.
  • Don’t bang your head against Norton’s. The tech support dude was super nice and did all the work with a smile.
  • Just Dance. Seriously. Greatest video game ever. We have the Disney edition.
  • Never let the kid near the hair accessories. ‘Nuff said.
  • Your mother-in-law can be your best ally. It’s OK to let her spoil the kid once in a while.
  • Get your own balloon.  The nice Toys R Us lady won’t give one to a bearded 40something dad.

How is your summer going? Lots of fun?